How trauma lives in the body

One thing people do not really talk about in recovery is how much trauma and stress stays trapped in the body.

In rehab, massages were actually part of the programme.
We had two a week.

At first I thought it sounded almost ridiculous.
I remember thinking, how is a massage supposed to help somebody whose life has completely fallen apart because of addiction?

But after years of alcohol abuse, anxiety, panic, grief, emotional chaos, sleeping badly, surviving withdrawals and constantly living in fight-or-flight mode, I slowly started to understand it.

My body had forgotten how to relax naturally.

Even when I stopped drinking, my nervous system still felt terrified.
My shoulders were permanently tense.
My jaw hurt from clenching.
My sleep was awful.
My heart constantly felt like it was racing.
I was exhausted but still unable to switch off.

Alcohol had numbed everything for so long that I didn’t even realise how physically damaged by stress I had become.

Recovery is not just about removing alcohol.
It is about teaching your body how to feel safe again without it.

During recovery, I also went to a meditation retreat where I was introduced to something called TRE — Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises.

I had never seen anything like it before.

TRE is a series of exercises designed to activate the body’s natural shaking response — the same response humans and animals instinctively use to release stress and trauma from the nervous system.

The idea behind it is that trauma is not only stored in the mind.
It is stored in the body too.

At the retreat, I watched people lying in the middle of the forest violently shaking, trembling, crying, releasing emotions they probably didn’t even realise they were carrying.

Some people looked peaceful afterwards.
Some looked emotional.
Some looked completely exhausted.

And honestly, it was one of the strangest and most unforgettable things I have ever witnessed.

At first it almost looked frightening.
Like the body was trying to expel years of fear, panic and pain all at once.

But the more I learnt about trauma and addiction, the more sense it made.

Because trauma is not always logical.
Sometimes your mind moves on before your body does.

Sometimes your body is still carrying grief, fear and stress long after the event itself has passed.

Those massages in rehab and experiences like TRE made me realise something important:
Healing is not just mental.

It is physical.
Neurological.
Emotional.
Spiritual.

People think recovery is only therapy, medication and not drinking.
But recovery is also relearning basic things:
How to sleep properly.
How to breathe deeply again.
How to relax without substances.
How to exist inside your own body without wanting to escape it.

The body remembers everything.
Even the things we try hardest to forget.